Who is she?
This creature, this person
Living with and without a smile
She willingly hungers,
Her pain, she ignores
So that they may feel none
They whom her life belongs to
In those simple moments
When her hand reaches out
Such a lonely way
So worth the suffering
For she knows she cannot serve
Unless she suffers

A reason to love rain:
It hides my tears when I cry
Each drop blends in next to another
Simply a walking disguise in the light
But growing weaker with each step
The clothes on my back are weighted down
And sticking to my skin
A symbol, in reference
To the latest twist of fate
Losing all hope,
And wishing I could simply unwind
Darkness spreads
The street lights flicker
In an irregular rhythm
The view from my roof was magnificent
A cloudy, cool night
Perched all the way above
Lonely raindrops fall from the clouds
Pondering there on this summer night
Water droplets strike the cement Landing on my skin
And soaking my clothes
I'm still
Lightning rips the sky
Bolts of gashing light and the clapping of the thunder
Echoing wide as each crack takes its shape
Willingly, I give into the currents of the storm
Billowing moans of the wind
Reprimand the trees and waters of the sea ahead
The air smells of freshly electrified sky
Intoxicating is this nightly blast
The vengeance of the skies.

Perfect

So I guess I'm stripping off my pink bows,
My honorary ribbons and my
trendy little clothes.
Saying goodbye to pats on the back,
eyes staring back with pride,
rubbing the brown off my nose.
The caged beast has rattled the bars
Long enough now,
So out in the world, it's ready to prowl.
I guess I"m not the perfect one
You thought that I was.
My hands have been dying to get
Into the mud.
Will you love me anyway,
Now my scars all exposed?
I still love you with all my heart,
I sure hope you know.
Walking on the green earth,
Instead of on the clouds,
The little angel has come down,
But I still want to make you proud.
Don't turn your eyes from the dirt rubbed on my skin,
You've got soil buildup of your own,
though you think it's hidden.
So I get a few slaps across my face,
But at least I can feel,
At least now I'm real.
I thought floating was my life,
just drifting through my days;
then I crashed into the bottom,
and I can see a whole new place.
A place for me, a place to discover
Realizing so much more
Without my head in the covers.

Image:

On their own, people are themselves. They look inside for the truth of what each of us is; our essence. Once in a group, we become parts of ourselves which are just generic, recurring patterns within society. We become boorish, more violent, and yet more closed; less willing to explore what we can do. A disco, or a congo are amusing things; but still examples of the silliness of mankind. If we were to remain anonymous, and our need for identity forgotten, life would have too much freedom, and end in its own destruction. For anonymity leads to self expression of the most extreme. Freedom fears not the eternal cell of scrutiny. There is no face to judge its uncontrollable laugh at the face of mankind. To be free from the curse of identity is to be cursed with too much freedom. Conflicting ideas of freedom and voice would choose to eliminate hindrances by its own hand. Without the ordered hand of identity, a faceless man is a man without shame. He is invisible, and his own expression may threaten others. A darkened shade is laced across the world by total freedom. Their actions cannot be traced to the identity that had given breath to it.

-Unknown Author

I'm Not an Angel

You made a mistake
On the day that you met me and lost your way
You saw all the signs but you let it go
You closed your eyes
I should've told you to leave
'Cause I knew all the time you couldn't handle me
But you're hard to resist
When you beg.
I'll tear you down
I'll make you bleed, eternally
Can't help myself from hurting you when it's hurting me
I don't have wings
I cut them off
Flying with me won't be easy
'Cause I'm no angel
I hate being that wall
That you hit when you feel like you gave it all
I keep taking the blame
When we both know that'll never change
I wasn't always this way
I used to be the one with the halo
That disappeared when I first had my taste
And fell from grace, it left me in this place
Now I'm starting to think that maybe you'll like it...
I'm not an angel.

I've tripped again and things are starting to get interesting.
Don't give choices 'cause I can't decide
My mind is soaked with words
I've come to terms with all my insecurities
And purity's no friend of mine
Dreaming does no good
'Cause I don't wanna lie
And say that I'm okay
I'd rather take it and forget it
Consider this a warning
'Cause I'll start another fight
And you'll say it's alright
I'll wait for the day when you find I'm too much for you
So lay your hands over me
But don't bother wasting your time trying to change me
You're kinda cool,
But I know better than to break the rules
Of messin' with a lesson that I'll never learn
I'll go from bad to worse and later back to better
But I'll never better bridges that I'm bent to burn
I'll never learn
I'll only trip
Pedestrians beware.
I'm a no walking zone.

Rain Kissed

Hugging herself tight, ripping each arms' muscle,
Drench in the rain, sweat washed off by the tears
Hips twisting sideways,
Swaying in turns
Curling down like a ball
So small, so fragile.
Step on her now, you're break her forever
Her face, pale and lifeless
Her eyes, green but red and narrowed
Her neck kissed by the cold wind
Gripped tight by her choking tears
Coughed up and hiccuped
Longing to scream,
But then everyone would come
She belongs nowhere
Now only longs to express herself
Tearing her own heart apart
Bouncing in frustration
Pounding the cold, wet walls.
Only to feel the pain, stinging
Though not as painful as her own tears
Rip her apart now,
Let her be torn
Cheeks rosy red from all the movements she danced out
Eyes closed and blurry,
She could only see the streams dripping
From both the endlessly dark sky
And her emerald eyes.
Guarded by the night's shadow,
Bounded to the ground,
Struck by all the pounding emotions within
Driven by the deep lyrics,
Possessed by the heavy beat.
There she stands,
Escaping her own reality,
She couldn't stop,
She wouldn't stop.
Both knuckles now shed with dark, red blood,
The acidic rain only adds to the pain.
But it gives her the boost she needs.
The push she wants
To make her let it all out right now.
This is what everyone needs;
To cry.

3 o'clock

Why can't I sleep?
I toss and turn
I sing, I read
Why can't I stop worrying?
Those sheep don't work
And the house is too quiet
My feet are frozen
My lips are dry
I'm sitting here thinking,
About to cry
Like a mother holds her child,
I crawl back into bed,
Curl up in a ball.
Is insomnia a symptom of love?
Or pain?
I'm exhausted
But cannot sleep.

What?

What is this? What is its purpose? What is anything? Why does anyone do anything? Why are we here? What are we meant to do? What is our purpose? What IS purpose? What is real? What is realism? What is ideal? What is idealism? What is fake? Why is the world? Why is the universe? Why is anything? Why is anyone? What is because? Why is because?
NOTHING MAKES SENSE TO ME ANYMORE. AHHHH.

Dude, where's my fairy?

If I act like a bitch, it's probably because you deserve it. I'm just saying...

Love is Our Weapon (by NeverShoutNever)

Hey everybody take a look around
Put your money where your mouth is
Take your eyes off the ground
We got a hard day coming if we can't work out
All the pissy little problems that were fightin' about

aye!

I never got involved with politics
'cause they always brought out the worst in my folks
But I always swore to them if I could make a change at all
I'd love this world before it implodes

We all want change
And we want it now

Hey everybody take a look around
Put your money where your mouth is
Take your eyes off the ground
We got a hard day coming if we can't work out
All the pissy little problems that were fightin' about

aye!

Love is the weapon for this lukewarm congregation
Love is the only thing that's kept me believing
Love is the weapon for this wounded generation
Love is the only thing that's kept me believing

That the world will change
(world will change)
We all want change
(want it now)

Hey everybody take a look around
Put your money where your mouth is
Take your eyes off the ground
We got a hard day coming if we can't work out
All the pissy little problems that were fightin' about

aye!

Hey everybody take a look around
Put your money where your mouth is
Take your eyes off the ground

<3

Waking up each morning, already with the anxiety of the new day. Long, boring, much-to-do day. Heart pounding hard, childhood and teenage years nonexistent or slowly slipping away. A big hole in my heart and soul; something lies missing. Head pounding. All the bullshit that has occurred in these long, hard, boring days, a heart once happy, fell into a pit of despair. More work for tomorrow and so little time. No time to relax or do what my heart wants. Or so they say... might have friends and relationships to patch, but what's it worth with so little time. Focus on the pressure of the future, or so I'm told... Give up being happy. Grow older as a result. I'm a sixteen year old girl with the aching mind and body of a sixty year old woman. Slowly degrading, such is my elder mind. Casual bitterness and cynicism are my current train of thought. Sorry, no can do. No time to be happy.

A Noiseless Patient Spider

by Walt Whitman

A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch'd forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.
And you, O my sould where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form'd,
Till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere,
O my soul.